Hindi ko maintindihan yung emosyon ko ngayon araw na ‘to. Masyadong komplikado. I was in the office the whole day and I can’t help but cry. Para akong bata. I feel helpless. Hindi ko alam bakit pakiramdam ko pagod na pagod ako from the inside out, even the spiritual aspect.
I am trying to convince myself na "JK, kaya mo pa yan, wag ka susuko", pero feeling ko gusto ko na lang sumuko. Magulo. Maingay.
"They have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.” - Psalm 53:3
Last night, I felt like thin ice trying to break each and every part of me. I believe It’s a guilt. I am saddened by what’s happening around me and I came to a point I became self-righteous. I became an all-knowing person and just bursting my opinions, comments without a second thought.
And I believe It is God who confronted me and reminds me that “Hey JK! None of you has done good, not even one”. And I was like. "Yes Lord. Sorry po."
Ang galing lang kasi bawat sitwasyon, gaano man to kapangit, God can turn it into a beautiful one. He won’t left you hanging kasi may gusto Siyang i-deal sayo. Gusto ka Niya matuto. And one thing I’ve learned today is “don”t be too quick to judge”. You’ll never know what is really happening to them. Totoo yung dapat pakinggan mo muna sila. Kasi lahat naman may rason eh. Lahat may pinagdadaanan. Maaring itong bagay na to ay pwede ring turuan ka.
Walang pwede magsabi na mali to, mali yan. Ito ang dapat mong gawin, gawin mo yan kundi si Lord lang. Instrumento lang tayo at wala tayong karapatan to harden our heart to those people because we are just like them. God is at work to each and everyone of us. There’s no exemption. And no one has the ticket to judge someone quickly.
And because of this realization, mas naintindihan ko ang mas malalim na depinisyon ng isang kaibigan. Friendship is not measured on the things we look on the outside, but rather on the inside. Why? Cause you’ll gonna learn how to accept things and appreciate someone’s beauty BEYOND IMPERFECTIONS and because of that you’ll gonna learn how to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.
And this lyrics pops up in my head: “Just what is it in me? Sometimes I just don’t know what keeps me in Your love, why you never let me go.”
Ito na ata yung totoong greatest love of all. I’m a just amazed!
Minsan sa sobrang affected tayo sa mga nangyayari sa buhay natin, as if parang lahat eh sablay. But we have to come and know that 99% of what is happening to us right now, is the consequences of our decisions. Yung 1%, that’s how much we allocate our trust and faith to God sa mga decisions Niya para satin.
Try natin baguhin. 99% sa Kanya or gawin na nating 100%. Buutin na natin. And I believe ibibigay Niya lahat hindi lang yung gusto mo. Walang labis, walang kulang, lahat ng kailangan mo, ibibigay Niya sayo."
Your question is, has God given His best? But the question that we must answer first is, “AM I GIVING GOD MY BEST?” You and I will never experience God’s best, until we give God our all.
And as we seek God’s perspective, we’ll discover that giving Him everything is well worth the trade."
Naalala ko yung mga panahong sinusulat ko ‘tong blog post na 'to. I was just listening to KZ Tandingan’s version of Wag Ka Nang Umiyak then I felt like someone’s talking to me through that song. Naalala ko yung mga panahong yun na sobrang down na down ako. Halos gusto ko ng sumuko. Gusto ko ng bitawan yung nasimulan ko. Iniisip ko nun, parang walang patutunguhan tong pagsunod ko. Nakakapagod.
And as I look back a year after I said Yes to Him, nakakatuwa. Naka-survive ako. Kahit tipong halos sumuko na naman talaga ako. Nandito pa rin ako. Kahit na ilang beses akong bumitaw, nandito pa rin ako. Pero ang totoo, Siya yung hindi sumuko sakin. Siya yung hindi bumitaw. Kung makailang beses akong nagduda, Siya yung nagtiwala sakin. Siya yung laging nire-remind ako na kaya ko kasi kaya Niya.
Ang layo na pala ng narating ng nasimulan ko. Ang daming nangyari. Ang daming lesson. Marami talaga siyang plano kung mananahan tayo sa presensya Niya.
Everytime na nakakaramdam ako ng pagod, binabalik balikan ko lang kung paano kami nag-start ni Lord. Lagi kong nire-remind yung sarili ko na kapit lang JK! Wag kang bibitaw, at kahit bumitaw ka, hinding hindi ka Niya bibitawan. Hindi ka Niya pababayaan.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” - John 15:5-8
Sometimes the things that hurt us the most are the things that make us the strongest.
Kadalasan ganito si God. Aalisin Niya yung walls na nakaharang diyan sa puso mo. At kadalasan masakit kasi hindi mo alam yung rason kung bakit Niya kailangan alisin yun, or alam mo naman yung dahilan pero ayaw mo tanggapin. Kaya in the end, masakit.
Pero yung sakit na yun ang magpapatibay sayo. Yung sakit na yun ang magtuturo sayo na kailangan ang sakit na yun para tayo ay matuto. Matuto para maging malakas at buo.