Saved by Grace.
Jan Kenneth Rubian | 22 | MANILA. PH. | NINJA | Student of Life | Simple. Packed with BIG DREAMS! Awesome since '91. Do not deprive yourself for your Father in heaven is King of all Kings. Ala-Eh City •
FACEBOOK | TWITTER

A Life-Surrendered

This is one of my favorites from contemporary Christian singer-songwriter, Hurricane by Jimmy Needham. I’ve heard this song when a good friend of mine treat us to watch Jimmy for his one of a kind Worship Night.  The song really speaks to my heart. And every time I hear this song, I am always reminded that:

 ”Have you ever really surrendered your life to God?” And I admit to myself, that I haven’t. 

It’s been a year now when I declared that I have surrendered my life to Him. I can still remember that very day when I feel like He is welcoming me with His open arms. That kind of child-like faith always gives me a goose-bumps. 

But along the way, as we walk together, I find myself in the midst of darkness and no one is with me. There’s a lot of road blocks, barbwire’s, walls that hinders me to walk in the path where I should be.  And as I listened to this song I found out that It is me who created that walls. The fear, pride, sins, selfishness is in me. And as much as I want to break these walls down,  I just can’t cause I am weak. 

"I have built a city here. Half with pride and half with fear . Just wanted a safer place to hide. I don’t want to be safe tonight”

I know and God sees me right even before I accepted Him as my Savior, He knows that one day I’m gonna compromise. I’m going to fail, I’ll suffer from pain and I’ll cry a river. But that doesn’t stopped Him to let me know that I am loved. That I am not alone. That He is with me. He doesn’t want me to suffer. 

"I am Yours and You are mine. You know far better than I. And if destruction’s what I need. Then I’ll receive it Lord from Thee"

I just realized as well na siguro bago natin sagutin kung ready ba tayo na i-surrender yung life natin kay Lord, eh handa ba tayo sa destruction? Handa ba tayo sa renovation ng pagkatao natin sa lahat ng aspeto. Isipan mo, katawan mo, mga desisyon, mga plano , at lalong lalo na yung puso mo at puso ko. 

And as much as I push harder from the might of my strength para mawala ang mga walls na to, It’s not enough. I ended up tired, disappointed, frustrated. But He is an everlasting God. He never gets tired of pursuing me.  Grabe lang! Si Lord pa yung nagpu-pursue sakin/satin. Kahit andami nating palpak. Andaming sablay.

Sabi pa ni Lord,”Anak, pain demands to be felt. Hindi para mag-suffer ka, kundi para matuto ka. Coz on the other side of pain, there’s victory cause I’m gonna fight harder for you.” 

"And it’s Your eye in the storm watching over me 

And it’s Your eye in the storm wanting only good for me 

And if You are the war let me be the casualty 

'Til I'm Yours alone I am only Yours”

Minsan, gusto ko magtampo kay Lord, kasi parang teka lang naman Lord, para pong kota na po ako. Yung iba naman po. But then as I suffered from all these things, I appreciate the things that I can’t change cause that only proves that God is the only ONE who has the control in my life. Never Siya naghangad ng masama sakin, lahat mabuti, lalo na kung handa akong isuko lahat ng bagay na akala ko eh nagpapasaya sakin. Minsan diba, kahit hawak mo na yung bagay na inaasam mo, kulang pa rin. You’ll search for more kasi Siya lang naman yung makakapag-kumpleto satin. 

Kung kelangan eh destruction, let’s accept it. Mas okay na yung maging casualty tayo ni Lord kesa ilayo tayo ng mga barriers na to kay Lord. Kahit na mabasag tayo, broken into pieces, ruined, and damaged, isa lang ang gusto Niya, He wanted us to be made whole again because of His all-consuming love, kung handa tayong isuko ang lahat sa Kanya!

Following Christ will consume you from your will, to your mind and to your body. Nobody said it would be easy. Your question is, "Has God given me His best?"  But the question that we must answer first is, “AM I GIVING GOD MY BEST?”  You and I will never experience God’s best, until we give God our all. And as we seek God’s perspective, we’ll discover that giving Him everything is well worth the trade.

Monday, July 7, 2014

UNTITLED

Hindi ko maintindihan yung emosyon ko ngayon araw na ‘to. Masyadong komplikado. I was in the office the whole day and I can’t help but cry. Para akong bata. I feel helpless. Hindi ko alam bakit pakiramdam ko pagod na pagod ako from the inside out, even the spiritual aspect. 

I am trying to convince myself na "JK, kaya mo pa yan, wag ka susuko", pero feeling ko gusto ko na lang sumuko. Magulo. Maingay. 

:(

Sunday, July 6, 2014

BEYOND IMPERFECTIONS

"They have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.” - Psalm 53:3

Last night, I felt like thin ice trying to break each and every part of me. I believe It’s a guilt. I am saddened by what’s happening around me and I came to a point I became self-righteous. I became an all-knowing person and just bursting my opinions, comments without a second thought.

And I believe It is God who confronted me and reminds me that “Hey JK! None of you has done good, not even one”. And I was like. "Yes Lord. Sorry po."

image

Ang galing lang kasi bawat sitwasyon, gaano man to kapangit, God can turn it into a beautiful one. He won’t left you hanging kasi may gusto Siyang i-deal sayo. Gusto ka Niya matuto. And one thing I’ve learned today is “don”t be too quick to judge”. You’ll never know what is really happening to them. Totoo yung dapat pakinggan mo muna sila. Kasi lahat naman may rason eh. Lahat may pinagdadaanan. Maaring itong bagay na to ay pwede ring turuan ka.

Walang pwede magsabi na mali to, mali yan. Ito ang dapat mong gawin, gawin mo yan kundi si Lord lang. Instrumento lang tayo at wala tayong karapatan to harden our heart to those people because we are just like them. God is at work to each and everyone of us. There’s no exemption. And no one has the ticket to judge someone quickly.

And because of this realization, mas naintindihan ko ang mas malalim na depinisyon ng isang kaibigan. Friendship is not measured on the things we look on the outside, but rather on the inside. Why? Cause you’ll gonna learn how to accept things and appreciate someone’s beauty BEYOND IMPERFECTIONS and because of that you’ll gonna learn how to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.

"Mahal Kita, whatever happens. My love for you is greater than your failures"

- God

And this lyrics pops up in my head: “Just what is it in me? Sometimes I just don’t know what keeps me in Your love, why you never let me go.”

Ito na ata yung totoong greatest love of all. I’m a just amazed! 

Dear Jordan, 

Honestly, at first I was hurt kasi di ikaw mismo ang nag-invite sakin dun sa group event. I never thought you’ll gonna forget me. CHOS! Hahahaha! But since you are my friend, my brother, and I treasure the friendship, I decided to join cause I don’t want regrets in the end. 

Alam mo kapatid kung gaano kita ina-admire. I admire a lot of things about you at ayoko na i-enumerate. LOL! Masyadong madami. But srsly speaking, even though most of the times you see yourself as the least pero hindi. For me nga, I just realized how humble you are and I learned how to weigh things and to show how should we be proud of what we have, what we have gained and what we received. 

As our Father in heaven takes you a the new chapter of you life. I pray that you’ll experience more of Him and step up with your faith into the next level. Nobody said it will be easy but God promised that you can be strong, and you can have that courage in your heart because God is with us and God is for us. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

I also pray that whenever you feel weak, draw yourself to Him to have that strength. Always remember Him whenever you feel sad and make His presence as your joy. I believe God is using this kind of oppurtunity to reveal more of His plans to you kapatid! we’re too young pa. Alam mo yan! Apir! Tanda mo yung pinag-usapan natin dati, na siguro kaya nae-experience natin yung mga ganitong bagay as early as now para pagdating ng panahon magamit natin to, bilang lakas para harapin pa yung matitinding pagsubok. And alam ko naman na kakayanin mo yun.

One thing God has really imparted to my heart today is that we become what we are called. And since we’re calling each other clingy friends forever, I believe we are! We are forever. It will be done to us according to our faith. That whatever happens, whoever come and go, we will stay. We will hold on tight to God as He holds us tight together. :)

Thank you for the frienship. I learned a lot of things from you. And I hope you’ll share that with other people sa lugar na pupuntahan mo. It’s not about if people will remember you, but the legacy na maiiwan mo sa kanila. Kasi yun ang trademark mo. Mami-miss kita kapatid! Lahat! Basta, sobrang thank you! (*teary-eyed here*)

Mag-iingat ka lagi dun! At wag na wag mo akong kakalimutang i-invite kapag magpapakasal ka na ah! Hahaha! Kakantahin natin ang Wrecking Ball at We Can’t Stop! Hahahaha! :) 

PS: Keep in mind, whatever happens! I’m always a friend. Till next time Jordan! 

~JK Rubian

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

"I will see this season through, I will fix my eyes on You" 

Father, You have searched me and You know all my ways. You have heard my prayers even before I asked and You have placed your hand upon me with such a knowledge I can’t attain. Father, I pray that through this season, You will reveal Yourself more to me, that I will trust You more than I trust myself. It is You alone who knows everything. For You have said that there’s none of Your promises has failed, and for that I will hold on tight, and together, we will FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH. 

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails." - Proverbs 19:21

Thursday, June 26, 2014
I am reviewing my faith goals that I’ve written down last December for 2014 and I am reminded by God that He is far greater than all of these things, that apart from Him, I am nothing even though I’m gonna have them all. I just can’t contain my excitement how God freely moves in my life, the way He wanted it to be. Indeed, more of the things that we ask, and we need, God is more concerned of who we become. Jesus is all we need! “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will BEAR MUCH FRUIT; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

I am reviewing my faith goals that I’ve written down last December for 2014 and I am reminded by God that He is far greater than all of these things, that apart from Him, I am nothing even though I’m gonna have them all. I just can’t contain my excitement how God freely moves in my life, the way He wanted it to be. Indeed, more of the things that we ask, and we need, God is more concerned of who we become. Jesus is all we need! 

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will BEAR MUCH FRUIT; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Monday, June 23, 2014
"

Minsan sa sobrang affected tayo sa mga nangyayari sa buhay natin, as if parang lahat eh sablay. But we have to come and know that 99% of what is happening to us right now, is the consequences of our decisions. Yung 1%, that’s how much we allocate our trust and faith to God sa mga decisions Niya para satin.

Try natin baguhin. 99% sa Kanya or gawin na nating 100%. Buutin na natin. And I believe ibibigay Niya lahat hindi lang yung gusto mo. Walang labis, walang kulang, lahat ng kailangan mo, ibibigay Niya sayo.

"
spiritualinspiration:

One night I had a dream— I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. “I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most, you should leave me.” The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering.“When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

spiritualinspiration:

One night I had a dream—
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
“I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
“When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”

Sunday, June 22, 2014

I NEED YOU

I’ve known this song for a long time. I can still remember singing this wayback in highschool. We’ll honestly, at first, I thought that this is just your usual love song dedicated to your boyfriend/girlfriend, but what i found is far more than that. It came to my senses after listening to this again,  (I mean over and over again) that there’s something between the lines of LeAnn Rimes “I Need You”. 

And I just realized that, God wants to speak to me. 

"I don’t need a lot of things, I can get by with nothing

Of all the blessings life can bring, 

I’ve always needed something

But I’ve got all I want

When it comes to loving You

You’re my only reason,

You’re my only truth”

We strive the success for happiness, we search for things and even though we had it already seems like we aren’t satisfied. Parang may kulang, may hinahanap ka pa rin. Yung happiness na panandalian mo lang naramdaman, parang hangin lang na dumaan. 

And I believe this is what God wants to convey through this song. He wants us to know that the world can offer us a lot of things but only God can truly satisfy us. 

"You’re the hope that moves me

To courage again

You’re the love that rescues me

When the cold winds rage

And it’s so amazing

'Cause that's just how you are

And I can’t turn back now

'Cause you've brought me too far”

And even if everything is falling, and even if the world turns it back on you, He will always be available for you. To give us the hope and courage for us to move on. His love never fails and He will rescue you. Madalas hindi lang natin maramdaman, kasi may mga bagay na ayaw pa nating bitawan. Ito yung mga bagay na pansamantalang nagbibigay sayo ng kasiyahan. Iniisip natin na kapag nawala ‘to, parang lahat mawawala na. Pero mali yun.  Lahat tayo nagkakamali along the way pero lahat nung pagkakamaling yun pala is part of the path that will lead you to where you should be. 

It’s just amazing how God moves to speak in your life. It may be in a form of situations, the people around you, the weather and even through songs. Napakaingay ng mundo. At kung hindi ka magfo-focus, pwede kang maligaw. Focusing on God’s word will lead you. May mga bagay na ready ibigay sayo si Lord, lalo na kung handa mong bitawan yung mga bagay simula nung isuko mo yung buhay mo sa Kanya. 

We all need Jesus in our lives. Nothing is more satisfying in this world than finding God Himself. Start your seeking today.

I NEED YOU - Leanne Rimes
I don’t need a lot of things,
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring,
I’ve always needed something
But I’ve got all I want
When it comes to loving you
You’re my only reason,
You’re my only truth
[chorus]
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From Heaven’s gate
There’s a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you

You’re the hope that moves me
To courage again
You’re the love that rescues me
When the cold winds rage
And it’s so amazing
'Cause that's just how you are
And I can’t turn back now
'Cause you've brought me too far
"It’s easy to take things in but hard to let ‘em go."
~Miracle in Cell No.7 - 2013

"It’s easy to take things in but hard to let ‘em go."

~Miracle in Cell No.7 - 2013

Sunday, May 25, 2014
"

Your question is, has God given His best? But the question that we must answer first is, “AM I GIVING GOD MY BEST?” You and I will never experience God’s best, until we give God our all.

And as we seek God’s perspective, we’ll discover that giving Him everything is well worth the trade.

"

Wag Ka Nang Umiyak

Naalala ko yung mga panahong sinusulat ko ‘tong blog post na 'to. I was just listening to KZ Tandingan’s version of Wag Ka Nang Umiyak then I felt like someone’s talking to me through that song. Naalala ko yung mga panahong yun na sobrang down na down ako. Halos gusto ko ng sumuko. Gusto ko ng bitawan yung nasimulan ko. Iniisip ko nun, parang walang patutunguhan tong pagsunod ko. Nakakapagod.

And as I look back a year after I said Yes to Him, nakakatuwa. Naka-survive ako. Kahit tipong halos sumuko na naman talaga ako. Nandito pa rin ako. Kahit na ilang beses akong bumitaw, nandito pa rin ako. Pero ang totoo, Siya yung hindi sumuko sakin. Siya yung hindi bumitaw. Kung makailang beses akong nagduda, Siya yung nagtiwala sakin. Siya yung laging nire-remind ako na kaya ko kasi kaya Niya.

Ang layo na pala ng narating ng nasimulan ko. Ang daming nangyari. Ang daming lesson. Marami talaga siyang plano kung mananahan tayo sa presensya Niya.

Everytime na nakakaramdam ako ng pagod, binabalik balikan ko lang kung paano kami nag-start ni Lord. Lagi kong nire-remind yung sarili ko na kapit lang JK! Wag kang bibitaw, at kahit bumitaw ka, hinding hindi ka Niya bibitawan. Hindi ka Niya pababayaan.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” - John 15:5-8

Sometimes the things that hurt us the most are the things that make us the strongest.

Kadalasan ganito si God. Aalisin Niya yung walls na nakaharang diyan sa puso mo. At kadalasan masakit kasi hindi mo alam yung rason kung bakit Niya kailangan alisin yun, or alam mo naman yung dahilan pero ayaw mo tanggapin. Kaya in the end, masakit.

Pero yung sakit na yun ang magpapatibay sayo. Yung sakit na yun ang magtuturo sayo na kailangan ang sakit na yun para tayo ay matuto. Matuto para maging malakas at buo.

 
Next page